I am very fortunate to have men in my life who taught me what it means to be a man and a good man at that. Here are some things that have always stuck with me.
Brother James,"Take life seriously, but not too seriously".
Dad, "If everyone is not laughing than the joke is not funny, a joke that singles someone out, hurts their feelings or makes them uncomfortable is never worth the laughs it might get from others".
Grandpa Hansen, "In life there is always a simple and easy answer to every question or problem. It is usually the wrong answer".
Gerald Griffin, "Never trust a blinker".
Dan Griffin, "Just keep strummin".
Jim Brannon, "You are fine just as you are, there is nothing wrong with you".
James again, "there is a million reasons not to do anything, so ask her out till she says no".
Couch Mccloud, "use your left foot to hook instead of your right".
Grandpa Max, "I am proud you are my grandson".
Craig Finn, "You have to dance with who you came to the dance with".
Seth white, Jason Birch, Josh Savage, Brandon Kelsey, all other ATA Lead Guides, "Row Hard!!!", "Don't hit that rock", "Ammo don't do that again".
Dad, "that is how you play a G chord".
Sam, "Your a very good guitarist".
Grandpa Hansen, "Grasshopper man is stronger than Superman, Ammon everyone knows that", "Ammon how are all your girlfriends"?, "Don't be afraid of the ball, step into the pitch, when you swing do what feels normal and right".
Mexican Farm Worker, "Here cute chubby boy, eat this burrito, I cooked it on the tractor engine".
Kyle the farmer, "it's the god damn government making it rain again".
Outlaw biker tatoo artist in Alaska, "Don't ever let another man shave your back after this one time".
Mr Spivey, "This is a home to you to hold in your heart that wherever you are there is your boggy family who love and care about you".
People have very weird views of what it means to be a man. I am very glad that I was not raised thinking that it is okay to be unkind, to fight, to mistreat women, to not think for myself, to follow the crowd, to be simple, not to think.
Instead I was taught To be caring, to love, to try to understand, to question everything, that it is okay to cry, that women and men are equal, that all people are equal, to love and cherish children, to respect everyone, to accept when you are wrong, fighting is not the answer... ever, to read, to study, to think things out, to listen to old wisdom, to give, to be a gracious winner, to accept your shortcomings.
I hope I have become a good man. I strive to be a better one. I hope I can help other younger men move forward and become a real man as well.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
What I have been listening, reading, watching or enjoying as of late.
Billy Elliot. Watch it.
The Album Leaf and Tom Waits. Hear it.
Room and Frankenstein. Read them.
I love Frankenstein. I love that something can be written many years ago but can still impact me to this day. I think it shows the importance of stories and how they can connect us to the past and to others in different cultures. It is one reason I love literature so very much. I think it is wonderful how different people can read the same thing and get different messages.
The monster begs Frankenstein to create a companion for him. He says how can you create me and then leave me to a world of solitude and misery. The only person who can possibly take the pain of the monster away and yet he refuses too. Though Frankenstein feels like he is doing the right thing because he is afraid that if he creates another monster the new one will be a killer and the blood will be upon his hands. Because of his fear of what might happen he condemns a creature to a life of loneliness and misery. How is that right? How is that just?
Frankenstein ruins his own life and the life of countless others because he lets it be decided for him. I am going to try to live my life in a way that is not governed by what may or may not happen.
I see Frankenstein as God or perhaps Parents. When the decision is made to create life the creator owes it to their creation to do everything in their power to save them from pain. I know that is a simple solution and I know I don't know anything but it is what seems fair. It would be nice if what was fair or just was obvious. It isn't. It is always confusing. Pain does not compute.
I struggle the problem of evil. I wish it could be explained to me in a way that could make sense of it. I suppose that is one of the problems with the human experience realizing that it will be impossible to understand the why or what's of what happens. The doctor tries to understand or fix the problems that come from real life. It destroys him.
The book is wonderful. Please read it. Enjoy it.
Blues guitar. Wyoming mountains. Anthropology classes. New Friends. Old Friends. TV No class. Happy Life.
P.S. I got to hold my nephew finally and he, just like his sister is perfect.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
I am in the Library.
I have not slept more than 5 hours in a night since Thanksgiving.
I slept 0 hours last night.
I am feeling like I want to be a bitch to everyone.
But instead my way of getting this out is looking at people I don't know thinking terrible thoughts about them and then feeling bad about it, then justifying it, then writing about it in my blog.
I want to change the Title of my Blog to
Working Class Gent.
thats what it is called. Now I just need to figure out how to change that.
Alright mean thought list here you come.
- To the lady telling the story about your 4 year old. "that is literally the worst story that has ever been told ever, and your child is ugly".
- Every adult who is wearing sweats and basketball shorts to class or work. "Did a dinosaur escape from Jurassic Park and you are just making sure you are ready to run away? Also I can see how much your education means to you by the word Skank printed on the ass of your sweats".
- To the gentlemen with the Ironic Mustache. "No one is laughing, that is all".
- To women wearing pants to church on sunday. "Of all the social injustice in the world you chose not being able to wear pant suits to church as the issue you were really going to stand up too? What? I mean really What the Hell? I believe whole heartily in the equality of all the sexes. Also I am guessing you are still paying your tithing? Why don't you focus your energy on unequal pay or Women's health care issues?"
- To my Professor who the average in his class is a failing grade. "What are you getting out of this? How do you feel that you are doing your job as an educator by failing the majority of your students? Perhaps you might want to rethink you syllabus next semester?"
- To the 18 year olds smoking. "Stop it Damn it! It is not that cool. I mean I know it looks cool and feels good and tastes great but for hells sake It is the slowest way to kill yourself and you smell like a Motel 6 whose cleaners are on strike!"
- To my Psychologist. "I understand that a social norm for the ages of 20-30 is when people find mates but perhaps I am enjoying my life and want to focus on that"?
- To the people riding longboards around USU campus. "Learn how to ride that before you ride it in public, you are making me embarrassed by your wobbles and I keep wondering when I am going to have to use CPR after you destroy your body. Also everytime you zoom past me to close it scares the crap out of me. STOP IT!"
- To people talking about leaving the Union Because Obama won his second term. "Just shut up! America is so Awesome just shut up".
Then this is my future.
- Go to Justin and Tiana's house tonight for celebration.
- Read, read, read, read.
- Niece Nephew AKA the apples of my eye.
- Targhee, Snowbarding. eating snow, frozen beard.
- Christ Mass
- Florida with the Besty
- New Orleans
- Next semester
- Amazing Classes
I want to see the Hobbit but I would be a liar if I said I was more excited for that than I am for the new Star Wars Movies. I don't know if they will be good but the chance that they are gives me chills.
I want to go to space some day.
Also this break I am going to learn to sew Bow Ties, Regular Ties, skinny Ties and who knows maybe a vest. We will see.
I need to snow shoe.
Alright well I am feeling good. Time to go. I have been in this desk chair at the Library Long Enough.
Oh Also I get to See Ian and Theresa and that is just amazing.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Just took My last Final.
I got a B
I like to Play BlueGrass. I find it frustrating that No one likes it. But I also like to play Rock and Roll. I also Like to play the Blues. I like to play the guitar, but everybody plays the guitar. I like to play the Banjo but I am not good at it. I like to Play Rugby but I am not a very aggressive person. I like to play basketball but I am short and my legs are maybe 27 inches long on a good day. I like to Sing even though I often sing off key. But that is okay cause so does Bob Dylan. I like to Hike even though I get tired. I like to read even though my thoughts often race. I like to Hug people even when I am sweaty. I like to dream even though I often can't sleep. I love driving but my cars wheel broke off. I like to write even though it is usually shite. But hey you have to start somewhere. I love to learn even though school is hard as hell. I love religion even though I am not a believer. I find some hymns beautiful. I like kissing my friends on the cheek even though it is somewhat a Utah taboo. I love eating food. I love to paint even when it does not turn out and I can tell you it usually does not. I like the warm even though I over heat. I like the cold even though I shiver. I like running even though I don't go far. I like snowboarding even though I fall... Often. I like growing a beard even though it is patchy.
I am so far from perfect or even good at times. But I am okay with me. I am okay with being mediocre. I try to be a good person and that is my offer. I am enough but always looking to improve.
"I am what I am and that is All that I am". Never said better.
I like Living even though sometimes it is hard. There is so much for me to get better at, learn, discover, reach and become. That is what finding joy is for me.
I will tell you I do not care who you are or where you are from I will beat you at Tecmo Bowl on NES. This is a scientific fact. It just is.
If you ask me I will hug you and I know I give good hugs.
Well thanks for reading. You readers are awesome.