Where is my mind... Today?

My mind is so very fickle. I can't seem to make up my mind about almost anything. I am constantly calling into question my thoughts and feelings about things. Some of these things are simple, and just annoying that it causes me mental turmoil. Such as,"should I wear pants or shorts?". After I have established the bottom that covers my legs I now am faced with the more daunting question of button up or T shirt. Plain or flannel, V or crew neck. A truly terrible first world problem.

Throughout the day when I am not worrying about the simple choices my mind wanders to the bigger picture questions. I often find myself in very intense internal discussions such as is there a god, why is there so much pain and suffering, what is the afterlife, if not a penis then what do girls have?

As of late I have been spent a lot of time thinking and wondering about god, but what I have really been thinking about is prayer. I find an interesting beauty in the thought of people crying out, hoping that they will be healed or be forgiven. I think of people solemnly bowing their heads and thanking god for the safe arrival of a loved one, and I smile. I like to listen to people pray, I am honored when people include me in their prayer groups or circles. I cannot however find the words or reasons to pray on my own. I almost feel awkward as if me and god dated and it ended badly. Perhaps I should just spend time listening and quieting my thoughts and that is what I will call my prayers.

This is not me crying out for help because a crisis of faith. I am not pretending to be some sort of theologist. I am actually quite happy with my spiritual health at this point, but as in every aspect of my life, I hope that I am always trying to better myself. I know I have so far to go in so many areas, some just require less blood, sweat and tears.

"life is the most wonderful gift"

-Amo